Love is not Arrogant or Rude
Message Notes // May 15th
SERIES: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Everything you say “yes” to, you have to think about what that “yes” means and what you are in turn saying “no” to.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.
The Importance of Love
1 Corinthians 12:31
…now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 14:1
Let love be your highest goal.
John 13:34-35
…I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
The Importance of Following the way of Jesus
1 John 2:6
Those ho say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.
1 Corinthians 11:1
…you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.
JUST AS! …imitate me “in the ways / to the degree that” I imitate Christ.
4 Questions about the way of love
For each of the ways we look at love, patience, kindness, not boasting or being jealous… ask these questions.
How does God love ME in this way?
How do I love GOD in this way?
How do I love MYSELF in this way?
How do I love OTHERS in this way?
Hearing about God’s love pales in comparison to actually experiencing the love of God first hand!
Love is not Arrogant
Where boasting would be talking ourselves up, or putting others down so we can feel better about ourselves - based on what we have or what we’ve done, arrogance takes that position of “I am just better than you” without needing a reason.
Romans 12:3
Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves…
arrogance - having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.
proud - having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance.
Romans 12:3 (ESV)
…I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement.
The key to not being arrogant is in the action of what we are meant TO DO, and that is to be humble.
If you want to win the battle against arrogance, you have to learn to BE humble.
1 Peter 5:5-6
…dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right the time he will live you up in honor.
Luke 14:11
…those who exalt themselves will be humbled, but those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Knowing who I am allows me to celebrate who YOU are.
Love is not Rude
aschemoneo [rude] - to be [or act] unbecoming; behave uncomely / unseemly, to act unbecomingly
What’s it look like to be rude, anyway?
Lacking civility or good manners.
Lacking refinement or grace.
Socially incorrect in behavior.
Our live as a follower of Jesus is not defined by what we are able to refrain from doing…
Our live as a follower of Jesus is defined by what we DO that shows we follow him…
Romans 12:10
love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (NLT)
Outdo one another in showing honor (ESV)
So, how bad is this “rude” business?
unbecoming - behavior that is not fitting or appropriate.
First, we MUST get our guidelines from the right source!
We live by the Word of God
This means really looking at and understanding what the Word of God says about living a life that is not rude.
This is asking “How should we act?” as defined by the Word of God.
We live by Grace
If you do something you should do, you probably want grace for yourself. So, remember that if someone else does that something to you, have grace for them, too!
1 Peter 4:8 - Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love covers all offenses.
Practical application! Are there ways we can learn to be less rude?
Are we too noisy?
We’ve had it happen to us, the party that lasts too long into the evening, the cars driving by, the shouting and probably said, “Why are they being so inconsiderate?” or “Don’t they know it’s late?” Have we done the same?
Have we cut in line?
…not waited our turn, made our mission more important than someone else? Lines, for some reason, are one of the most stressful of situations for people. We see it in their body language, their facial expressions and their verbal responses. This is always an easy opportunity to show grace, honor and love!
Do we interrupt people?
This is especially important in our close relationship. Interrupting shuts the other person down. It could be saying, without saying it out loud, “What iI have to say is more important than what you have to say.” It also might be relaying, “I wasn’t actually listening to you, I was just waiting until I had something to say…”
The purpose of conversation isn’t to convince someone of our point of view, it’s to dialogue, listen and understand, and share our point of view as well. If all I’m doing is trying to convince you and change your mind, I’m most likely just trying to control you.
How do we treat our Elders?
Leviticus 19:32, Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged.
1 Timothy 5:1, Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father…. Treat older women as you would your mother…
This is most important when it comes to modeling and teaching our kids how they should act and treat toward our elders. It’s been largely lost in the recent years and is something that God honors when we choose to honor others in this way!
Do we let Bad Manners slide?
Table manners, reaching over people, slurping, smacking, chewing with our mouths open. Even if it seems picky, the question is if 1 Corinthians 14:1 says that love should be our HIGHEST goal, then asking, “How are we doing in that?” is an important question!
How’s our Driving?
”Jesus, take the wheel!!!” Cutting people off. Tailgating. Not using signal lights. The #1 cause of accidents in the US is due to distracted driving - so, if rude is inappropriate behavior, then loving people on the road would be as simple as paying close attention to what we are doing, where we are, what’s going on around us and following the rules of the road!
“You used the last…..”
Using the last of anything and not replacing it. Paper in the copier, gas in a shared car, the toilet paper roll! Or maybe it’s leaving things around the house and not cleaning up after yourself, not that you’re expecting someone else to do it, but you don’t care enough to do it yourself.
Romans 12:18
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. (NLT)
IF possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (ESV)
Are you good at Time Management?
Life happens. Things seem unavoidable. But every time we are late we are affecting someone else. Whether that is just a casual dinner or an important meeting. It’s not just us, someone else is involved, and the use of our time often shows our respect, or our lack of respect for someone else’s time.
When we really look at these situations, do we see that we might be more concerned with OUR situation, OUR story, OUR life, OUR world, more than we are concerned with the what is happening around us and who is around us? If we are thinking more of ourselves then we will miss the opportunity to show love because we weren’t thinking of the other person. The more I notice things, the more honoring I can choose to be and less rude I will be.
Rude behavior pushes people away. It isolates people. And that is the opposite of what love does. Love and honor draw people in and bring them close!
Rude behavior, whether intentional or not, says, “I’m not thinking about you.”
1 John 3:18-19
…let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth…
The choices we make represent how transformed our minds have become.
When our faith in what God can do, is matched with our choice to do what we can do, our actions and experiences will change!
The choice is yours, the transformation is the Lords!